Football Twitter, where chaos and comedy collide, has outdone itself yet again. After Everton’s stonewall 0-0 draw against Arsenal at the Emirates, Ashley Young—yes, 39-year-old Ashley Young—has been turned into Mike Tyson.
Not literally, of course (though if we’re honest, Young wouldn’t look out of place in the ring after Sunday’s showing).
Let’s set the scene. Liverpool stumbled to a 2-2 draw against Fulham, leaving the door wide open for Arsenal to inch closer in the title race. With Mikel Arteta’s men desperate to capitalize, they ran into a human brick wall called Everton. And leading that defensive masterclass? Ashley Young. Assigned to deal with Gabriel Martinelli, Arsenal’s left-wing speedster, Young had one job: keep him quiet. And quiet Martinelli was—so quiet, in fact, you’d think he left his voice at home.
Young’s performance wasn’t just about effort; the numbers back it up. He earned a solid 7.5 match rating, a testament to his composure and defensive brilliance. Against one of the Premier League’s pacy, trickiest wingers, Young recorded 15 defensive actions—an unusually high number for a single game.
He won 4 of his 7 tackles, came out on top in 7 duels, and was dribbled past exactly 0 times. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Martinelli, a player known for exploiting space with his blistering speed, found himself completely shut out by a 39-year-old fullback who, on paper, is older, slower, and less athletic. (All stats are taken from FOTMOB)
But that’s the magic of Ashley Young. He didn’t leave gaps for Martinelli to exploit. He stayed positionally disciplined, matched his runs when needed, and gave Arsenal’s left flank absolutely nothing to work with. By the end of the match, Martinelli had no goals, no assists, and perhaps no answers. The stats paint a clear picture: Young put him in his pocket and zipped it shut.
Cue the internet. As soon as the final whistle blew, the “Welcome to the.. Penitentiary” meme started doing the rounds. This beloved football meme, where a defender’s dominance turns them into the metaphorical warden of a football prison, naturally crowned Ashley Young as the warden-in-chief. “Welcome to Ashley Young’s Penitentiary,” declared fans, as Martinelli was quietly escorted to his cell with no goals, no assists, and maybe no self-esteem.
But here’s where things got ridiculous (and glorious). Some genius decided that a simple meme wasn’t enough. Enter the viral edit: Ashley Young’s face masterfully morphed into Mike Tyson’s body. The clip in question? Tyson’s intimidating entrance walk from his Netflix-streamed fight against Jake Paul—granted, not Tyson’s most heroic bout, but the swagger was there. In the edit, Young-Tyson walks out, fists clenched, shoulders bouncing, ready to throw punches at any winger foolish enough to test him.
The comparison isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds. Tyson was the undisputed heavyweight king; Young, on Sunday, was the undisputed king of shutting Martinelli down.
For Arsenal fans, this meme is salt in the wound. For Everton fans, it’s poetry. And for the rest of us? It’s yet another example of football Twitter at its creative peak. Whether you see Ashley Young as an unstoppable right-back or simply a 39-year-old dad pulling off miracles on the pitch, one thing’s for sure: that edit is too ridiculous to miss.
But Young has not just come to life vs. Arsenal and Martinelli; he has been flawless throughout the season, playing at the highest level even at 39 years old. In this next section of the article, we will look at his season and how he has fared against various Premier League wingers.
Ashley Young: Season Stats and Traits: A Veteran Defying Time
When we think of Ashley Young, we think of a player who has seen it all—title races, relegation scraps, and just about everything in between. At 39, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume his role would be reduced to that of a squad veteran offering leadership in the dressing room. But no, Young continues to roll back the years on the pitch, proving himself as not just a survivor but an out-and-out performer for Everton this season.
Defensive Actions and Player Traits
Statistically speaking, Young has been exceptional in his defensive duties this season. Sitting in the 82nd percentile for defensive actions, Young is better defensively than 82% of his peers in the fullback position. That’s not just impressive for a 39-year-old—it’s impressive for anyone playing in one of the most demanding positions in football. He blends defensive grit with positional awareness, shutting down opposition wingers while contributing in attack when required.
Young’s consistency has been remarkable. Out of Everton’s games so far this season, he has started 13 matches, maintaining an average rating of 7.18. This level of consistency reflects not only his reliability but also his influence on the pitch, especially for an Everton side that has had its fair share of defensive struggles.
In terms of end product, Young isn’t just a defensive wall; he’s chipped in offensively too. He has registered 1 goal and 3 assists this season, proving that he still has the creativity and delivery that made him a standout winger in his earlier career. Furthermore, Young has created 16 chances, showing he’s not afraid to push forward and be an outlet down the flank when the situation calls for it.
Breaking Down the Defensive Brilliance
Defensively, Young has been a model of consistency:
• 53% of tackles won: A solid figure, particularly for a fullback regularly tasked with dealing with tricky, pacey wingers.
• 62% duels won: This stat highlights his ability to compete physically and mentally in one-on-one situations. Even against younger, quicker opponents, Young holds his own more often than not.
• 47 recoveries: Whenever he’s lost the ball, Young has shown the desire and discipline to win it back—a critical attribute for any fullback.
• Only dribbled past 11 times: This speaks volumes about Young’s defensive positioning. He knows where to be, when to commit, and when to stand his ground, making it incredibly difficult for opposition players to beat him in one-on-one scenarios.
Of course, no season is without its blips. For Young, his only blemish came in the very first game of the season, where he was shown a red card. Yet, since then, he has responded like the consummate professional he is, consistently performing at a high level and becoming a key player in Sean Dyche’s defensive setup.
Young vs. the Premier League Wingers: The Head-to-Head Battles
While his overall numbers are impressive, Ashley Young’s performances in individual matchups against some of the Premier League’s most dangerous wingers are even more noteworthy. Week in and week out, Young has been tasked with dealing with players who possess blinding speed, quick feet, and the ability to change games in an instant. And yet, Young has often emerged as the winner of these battles.
- Everton vs. Brighton & Hove Albion (0-3 Loss)
In the season opener, Ashley Young faced off against Kaoru Mitoma, one of the most explosive and tricky wingers in the Premier League. Unfortunately, Young’s evening ended prematurely as he received a red card in the 66th minute due to inefficient tackling—winning just 1 of his 4 tackles. However, up until that point, he held his own against Mitoma.
Duels Won: 6
Dribbled Past: Only once
Defensive Actions: 7
While Young’s dismissal marred his performance, the stats indicate that he was effective in stopping Mitoma’s influence for most of the game.
- Everton vs. Aston Villa (2-3 Loss)
Up against Jacob Ramsey, Young delivered a solid performance despite Everton’s loss. He managed to neutralize Ramsey’s attacking threat, keeping him relatively quiet throughout the game.
Defensive Actions: 9
Dribbled Past: 0 times
Match Rating: 6.0
This game demonstrated Young’s defensive resilience as he prevented Ramsey from making a significant impact.
- Everton vs. Crystal Palace (1-1 Draw)
Crystal Palace’s system relied on wing-backs rather than traditional wingers, giving Young an opportunity to contribute offensively.
Match Rating: 7.8
Assists: 1
Passes into Final Third: 13
Defensive Actions: 6
Dribbled Past: 0 times
Young thrived creatively in this match while maintaining his defensive discipline, proving he still possesses offensive flair to complement his defensive work.
- Everton vs. Newcastle United (0-0 Draw)
In this game, Young shifted to left-back and took on the pacey Jacob Murphy. Young’s defensive solidity was key to restricting Murphy’s influence.
Defensive Actions: 6
Dribbled Past: 2 times
Match Rating: 7.0
Murphy managed only 2 touches in the opposition box and had just 1 successful dribble. Young’s man-marking ensured Murphy had minimal impact in the attacking third.
- Everton vs. Fulham (1-1 Draw)
Young faced Alex Iwobi, one of Fulham’s in-form attackers, and delivered an excellent performance.
Match Rating: 7.7 (Second-best player of the match)
Assists: 1
Passes into Final Third: 11
Defensive Actions: 8
Tackles Won: 2 out of 3
Dribbled Past: 1 time
Iwobi, known for his creativity, was kept quiet—creating 0 chances and completing only 3 of 6 dribbles. Young’s disciplined performance ensured Fulham’s primary attacking outlet was neutralized.
- Everton vs. West Ham United (0-0 Draw)
Here, Young was tasked with marking the young and pacey Dutch winger Crysencio Summerville. Despite the winger’s speed, Young dominated their individual duel.
Defensive Actions: 8
Dribbled Past: 1 time
Duels Won: 7
Chances Created: 2
Summerville managed just 1 successful dribble out of 3 attempts and was dispossessed once. Young’s performance effectively nullified his attacking threat.
- Everton vs. Brentford (0-0 Draw)
Against Mikkel Damsgaard, a creative wing-back, Young delivered a clean, defensively sound performance.
Match Rating: 7.4
Passing Accuracy: 90%
Defensive Actions: 3 clearances
Dribbled Past: 0 times
Damsgaard managed only 1 touch in the opposition box and was dispossessed 3 times, highlighting Young’s ability to control his flank effectively.
- Everton vs. Manchester United (0-4 Loss)
This match was arguably Young’s worst performance of the season. Up against United’s system of wing-backs, Young struggled both defensively and offensively.
Match Rating: 5.2
Dribbled Past: 1 time
Duels Lost: 2
Long Balls: Only 1 successful out of 7 attempts
Young’s errors contributed to United’s counter-attacking goals by misplacing long balls in this match, marking this game as an uncharacteristic blip in an otherwise strong season.
- Everton vs. Wolves (4-0 Win)
Arguably Young’s best performance of the season came against Wolves and Matheus Cunha, one of the league’s most dangerous wingers outside the traditional top six.
Match Rating: 8.6 (Man of the Match)
Goals Scored: 1
Passes into Final Third: 12
Defensive Actions: 20
Tackles Won: 4 out of 7
Duels Won: 8
Dribbled Past: 2 times
Cunha created 0 chances and completed only 2 of 6 dribbles. Furthermore, none of Cunha’s 8 crosses found their target, a testament to Young’s defensive organization. Young capped off his dominant performance with a goal, showcasing his ability to influence the game at both ends of the pitch. (All stats taken from FOTMOB)
This season, Ashley Young proved he’s not just a stopgap or a nostalgic signing. From locking down some of the trickiest wingers in the Premier League to dropping man-of-the-match performances like it’s still 2010, Young has been the footballing equivalent of Tyson in his late-career comeback—smart, tenacious, and impossible to ignore. Sure, he had his “red card oopsie” and the United hiccup, but for the most part, he’s been a reliable rock in Everton’s defense.
So, to bring it all together: if the meme hyped him up like Tyson, the stats and performances back it up. Call him “Old,” call him “slow,” but this season, Ashley Young reminded everyone: experience hits harder than speed—and when he bites, he doesn’t miss.
